Emmett Vs Bella
by bloodsuckingpirates
Summary: The fight between Bella and Emmett rages on only now the have in listed help of family. What will happen in this crazy prank war?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: hey ya, I want to thank every one that reads this story because the more hits (and reviews) I get the higher my self esteem goes and I need that right now because I'm going through the very un-fun process of marching band in high school, I mean I've done it before but it still is as un-fun as the first time. I hope that you like it. This story is going to be told through various peoples points of view and I will tell you which person, thanks. This chapter is from Bella's point of view.

Chapter One-

I crouched in the shadows by the door to the house, the Cullen's house, waiting for my target to arrive and walk into my little trap or series of traps. **Cue evil laugh**. Emmett appeared out of the tree line and walked over to the house ignoring my scent. The door opened and he walked through only to be covered with, a thick white foam other wise known as shaving cream. A deep feral growl escaped Emmett as he turned toward my scent. Though luckily Alice had just stepped out of the tree line in the same place Emmett had, she glanced over at Emmett and burst out laughing at seeing him covered in the fruity opaque goo.

Emmett marched angrily into the house and towards the stairs by the sound of it. Ha-ha right into another trap out my ingenious mind. **Cue rubbing of hands with crazy grin**. A rather loud yell issued form the house causing all the other vampires that had appeared to lapse into laughing fits. A very undignified Alice rolled around on the ground laughing so hard she wasn't breathing.

Another yell issued from the house that means he had hit my last trap, I sprung up from the shadows holding a poster of the 'arc de Triomphe' above my head dancing around singing triumph.

"Triumph is all mine, Triumph at last." I sang loudly with poor melody and off key but hey who's paying any attention. Then I screamed "Triumph!!!"

_I have successfully performed the first half of my plan._

I have a voice inside my head?

_Oui__oui__ Monsieur_

It speaks French

_Sí__mi__ casa es su casa __Tú estás loco, yo no_

And Spanish

Perche lei ha mangiato il mio asino? (Why did you eat my donkey?)

And Italian

mein Esel ist tot ( My donkey is dead)

And German



And wingdings?

_We must get the vital information to perform the next valuable task in which we may need help. Now Bella's job is to persuade Alice to join Bella's elite force._

Now it's talking in the Third person. What next?

_¿Qué__ siguiente? __quoi ensuite? __You__ ask well you'll just have to find out. _

Oookay this is getting ubber creepy

_Remember__, Amateurs __built__the__ark__Professionals__built__the__ Titanic _

It now is quoting phrases wow I really need help

_Don't__blame__ me blame __the__lawn__ gnomes they're __the__ones__taking__your__sanity_


	2. Chapter 2

Two

This is my forty-fifth shower why won't this shaving cream come out of my hair. This is so frustrating what did she put in it? Glue?. A knock sounded on the door.

"What?" I called a bit harshly but not meaning it

"Honey I found something that might help with the shaving cream." Mom's voice called.

"Thanks"

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself securely in a towel and opened the door only to be covered in cola. Cherry Cola at that

"Don't tell me that I'm better than you, and I'm not even a vampire yet." Bella laughed from the ceiling.

"This is far from over this has only just began. Bella don't think because you have won two battles that you have won the war." I disappeared back into the bathroom slamming the door.

_Edward I need to speak with you. Now! Bring Jasper!_

Jasper, Edward and I sat around Rosalie's and my room. I was trying to get them to help me get back at Bella. Jasper was deciding and Edward was staying decidedly neutral.

"Have you made a choice yet?"

"Yes" Jasper said

"NO" Edward said firmly

"Is that a yes to one or both?" I asked ignoring Edward for the fourth time.

"Yes to both" jasper said

"Yeah!" I jumped up and did a jig while jasper and Edward looked at me as if I was high on something like 'shrooms.

"Okay, I will only help if you never ever do that again"

"I'm leaving, that was too scary for my mind to take I mean what are you on brother?" Edward said then immediately left the room.

"So are we going to talk strategy or are you going to stand there and dance because if you are I'm going to leave."

Jasper looked at me evenly. "You are crazy."

"I know, but does that stop me? NO!"

"We good with the Mohawk? Or not? Hey do I still have to bribe Alice, because I know she has probably already seen it in the future."

"Oh totally. Don't forget the candy-apple-red hair dye."

It was dark as I crept up to the Swan household jasper was right behind me holding two bottles of dye. Bella's window was open for

Edward. I smile to myself as jasper and I climb up into the room.

Bella lay on the bed fast asleep while Edward sat in the rocking chair watch refraining from doing anything and staying neutral.

"I can't believe that you are actually going to do this" Edward said from his seat in the corner. "It's crazy!"

"You're crazy for not helping." I shot back.

"Shut up and Shave!" Jasper ordered as I continued to stare a Edward.

I bent back over Bella and began to shave the right side then the left side of her head leaving an inch wide strip behind. We moved her head so we could dye her hair.

"Edward?" Bella asked still a sleep.

"Go back to sleep Bella you've been awfully tired lately" Edward said at her side immediately.

Bella did as she was told and slipped into dreamland again. We worked over her until all the dye was in place. After the allotted amount of time we rinsed out the dye and dried thoroughly then we put the gel in.

_This is going to turn out perfect! I only wish I could witness it._

"You better not, that is a very bad idea. This was a bad idea from the beginning," Edward said reading my thoughts. "But don't worry I'll fill you in."

In the morning Bella woke up and kissed Edward and went to have her usual human moment. Bella walked into the bathroom turned and looked in the mirror. Look on Bella's face was horror mingled with anger and revenge. And she screamed one word.

"EMMETT!!!"


End file.
